Where I live, it is summer. In San Francisco proper, the fog calls the seasons into question. The beach is blustery and cold. My hair whips around in a way I am not used to. Since the pandemic, I have yet to get it cut. It blows in my eyes and into my mouth. The dry grasses dance around, mocking me, but I don't mind.

A young cormorant is taunted by a dog. It seems the bird cannot yet fly or is injured. Youth seems more likely, as the escape is a bit clumsy and awkward. I lean in to see if the bird is ok but refrain from getting too close. I don't want to cause the bird more anguish. 

I venture out from the beach to find a place with less wind. I park and walk around an area of the city I had never explored. I step onto an empty college campus. It is well landscaped, and there are amazing views from here. Palm trees wave and sway. I wave back.

A man in a dark suit wears a covering over his head and face. I am self conscious about being maskless. I am still not used to walking with a bare face. At first, I think this man is campus security, glaring at me, wondering my intent. Later, I see him strolling with a paper sack. He is just a regular guy getting lunch. 

It is an odd day, where the sky is hiding its blue. I get a bit lost before returning to the car. I enjoy wandering without paying attention to any specific direction. Driving back over the bridge, the temperature rises, the sky clears, and the sun shines bright. I appreciate the foggy days no less; they are just a different mood, an alternate (but temporary) state of being.

I arrive at the park near the Lawn Bowling Club. It is often occupied by the elder set, dressed in crisp white attire, a uniform of sorts. Usually, stark white stands in sharp contrast to the vibrant green grass. Today, it is clear the formality of tradition has been lost to the pandemic. Everything is more casual now, because we no longer have time for posturing. 

The man who waters the grass for the bowlers, notices me reading a sign. It has an image of a crow and says, "Don't worry. I'm not real". He explains to me that he has to use a decoy to scare away critters. In order for it to work, he must put the decoy on its back. This results in the park getting many phone calls about a dead or injured bird. Now there is a sign for the humans, but the other animals still fall for the ruse. 

Around the bend, I enter the Aids Memorial Grove. It is absolutely stunning, a tribute to those who left us too soon. The plants are lush and green, even more so than many other areas of the park. The strength of spirit of those that are honored here is palpable. The care with which it was designed, and nurtured is immense. This is a sacred place. Hearts are mended here. 

I go to see the dahlias, but it may be too soon. They are few and far between, and half of them are missing. Maybe it is early or maybe their tending was lost to quarantining gardeners. I admire a few lonely blooms. Behind me, a man in business attire sits on a bench, listening to heavy metal music that is trapped inside his backpack.  

At the Conservatory of Flowers, a man wearing red, white and blue pants, and an absurdly quaffed head of hair, aggressively throws rocks. He intends to break the glass, but the glass is now wood. In his frustration, he bends and weaves wildly and grabs more rocks. I want to intervene, but I don't. He talks to the wind and traipses on. 

From the nearby tunnel comes the sound of live music. I follow it and see a group of men playing. The tunnel amplifies the sound, and I stand in the middle listening. The walls are covered with various messages of past and present. I place money in the hat and hope to hear more, but the men soon pause to put away their instruments. 

Golden Gate Park is the garden, playground, gym and sanctuary of so many locals and tourists alike. It will always be a place of refuge for me. It is not as if I don't see its troubled bits; it is just that the shiny bits shine brighter for me.  

Over in the east bay, I weave my way into and out of shops, slowly bringing back some of the daily life from before. It is not so much about the purchase of things, but more about human interaction and the freedom of happenstance. Everyone appears to be walking around filled with a bit of weariness, but with an equal sense of renewed hope. After a spirited conversation with an eager fat cat and a peanut eating crow, I enter an antique store to buy vintage photos from a shop keeper with a French accent. I pretend I am on a trip that couldn't be taken. 

Underneath the Bart tracks, I see tiny lines flitting about in the breeze. As the wind blows, the lines bend and dance, appearing almost metallic. I crane my neck to watch, and it is beautiful. These pine needles, caught in a metal grate, have created an effortless work of art. 

At the end of a busy street, a repurposed bank contains a night deposit box. I imagine it being the place where daydreams safely go to sleep. At the rising of the sun, a key is turned and the daydreams are released, only to be captured again by wanderers like me. 

Up in the Berkeley hills, I look for a different perspective and point of view. I pull over to walk next to a park used as a practice site for rock climbers. A few hang precariously, fingers and toes hooking into this hard earth. The view of the Bay is vast and wants to bring tears to my eyes. This is an involuntary act. I am on top of the world in this western landscape, ocean salt covering my shoes, wrinkles growing around my eyes. 

A sign beside the sidewalk begs, "don't give up". I feel strong, but worry wears itself on my brow. It is beautiful up here, houses of varying styles with plants aplenty. Every home has a glorious view, and I peek between them, straining to see what I am not meant to afford. 

Two midcentury modern homes stand out from the crowd. I imagine myself living within them, one for art making and one for entertaining an eclectic group of friends. I fall into fantasy of what the life of an artist should be but never is. I am thrown back onto the street where I stand, to continue walking. This is the artist's real life. It is not luxurious or full of absolute whimsy. It is a drive that goes on in spite of anything that would try to stop it. The maker makes, no matter the circumstance. 

Lost in self analysis and willful wanderings, a doe approaches from the adjacent slope. I stop in my tracks and gasp, for chance encounters such as this should be cherished. I am quiet and watchful, camera up to eye. I know the moment will be fleeting. I think to those who hold guns up to such beautiful creatures, and no amount of explanation will allow me to fathom why. In a residential area, this animal passes through what once belonged to it. Run away friend, find a place of refuge. 

I wander the hills wanting to get lost but knowing I will always find my way. The more I step, the more ground I cover. The more ground I cover, the more I am firmly planted here. 

I drive around in circles, looking for a place to park. I have no agenda other than to walk and take pictures, but today I am off kilter and a bit sad. I wander somewhat aimlessly, arriving at a hill. It is like a cartoon exaggeration of a steep street, but a perfect representation of my emotions at that very moment. I turn around before I reach its peak, adjust my temperament and start again. Riding the wave between is the balancing act of these pandemic days. 

Finally parked, I head to the ocean, my steadfast friend. Here, the ravens dance as they always do. I am calm in their presence. The spirit finds solace in moments of simplicity. I cannot untether my connection to this place, even though I sometimes still feel like a tourist. The magic never ceases to surprise me, but I am easily wooed. 

After a perfect amount of wandering, I return to the car and remove my mask. Contented and smiling, I wipe away the salt from the tears that dried on my sun-kissed cheeks. 

The beach is beautiful as always, but it appears that the birds have been suffering a bit. There are more than a few carcasses in the sand. Perhaps these mark the end of well lived, flight filled days - but perhaps not. I'd like to ask the ravens, but they are busy feasting on the feathered dead (disturbing but true). They also dine on watermelon and french bread. 

Mist rises and falls, forming temporary clouds on the surface of the water. Surfers dive in and out of wide waves. One loses his board which finds its way to the sand, resulting in a passerby becoming a good samaritan. I lose my mind to salty daydreams. 

I don't put any rocks in my pocket today, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking for treasure. I recently read of an abandoned coal mine here. I count the gaps in the rock, guessing where the void falls deep. With my camera, I collect images of what shall be left undisturbed, the shared space of critters and man. I thank the winged ones for letting me walk among them, because it is we who have taken way too much.  

When I encounter animals on my walks or in the world at large, I like to imagine we have an understanding, a feeling of mutual respect. I know the world has leaned heavy toward the greed and unquenchable thirst of humans, so I am in a sense just appeasing my own desires. 

Walking down the street I spot a deer checking me out, waiting to see my next move. As always, I step slowly and push the on button on my camera. The deer makes its way to a front yard garden which is nicely curated. Spending little time there, the deer sneaks behind a fence to a neighboring backyard. I want to follow but don't. I don't know the house inhabitants, after all. 

Two other deer prance down the road in my direction. Like the other, they are cautious around me and watch to see what I will do. Like before, the camera gets wielded. I am sure this moment exists more purely without documentation, but I am compelled to keep clicking. 

I watch as the two young deer find their way around a low fence to accompany their companion. My time is done here and I walk on. I turn back for a moment just to see them again, to send them a mental thank you. I hope they find the food they are foraging for and make their way back up the hill, away from us two legged lunkheads. 

As the smoke clears for the morning, I head into San Francisco. I park on the end of California and venture up a hill that takes me to a golf course. In non-covid19 times I might have wandered deep in to explore what I could find on the carefully maintained grounds. Now, I follow the rules for reasons of safety and social distancing. The designated walking path takes me to the other side of the golf course where the land meets the water. The view is amazing and the depth of feeling it evokes could never be captured in pictures. Vividness of color (or lack of), beauty of composition, and luck of timing can never come close to expressing what happens in my gut when something touches me deeply. It can, however, be a reaction or retelling of what is seen, a new story that exists on a different plane of reality. 

Down the road are homes of great wealth. This is a unique world which is somewhat foreign to me. It is beautifully manicured, full of caretakers and builders. The facade needs constant maintenance. Walking through is free. I wonder who lives here and what their lives are like. A quick search reveals a few well known celebrities. I doubt I'll ever be their neighbor but no harm in pretending. And yes, this is a frivolous, empty kind of joy, but it is entertaining. 

Further in, I spot a sign that says "public beach". Of course, I have to follow it, and I land at China Beach. There is a road down which is wide enough for social distancing. There, I find a lone fisherman, a swimmer who obviously does not mind the cold water, and two young men enjoying the view from above. Beyond that, it is me and the birds. I feel gleeful, because in all my years living in the Bay Area, I had never been here. I had seen it from above, but just assumed it was inaccessible.

The Golden Gate Bridge stands tall in the distance, an icon of this joining of land and sea. Seagulls rest in the sand, only slightly hindered by my human presence. I hop over the water that reaches the rocks to see the other side of the cove. I am filled with delight and know this is exactly where I need to be at this second, on this day, in this very strange and difficult year. 

The heat rolls in, pushing away the cooling fog. Rolling blackouts take pressure off an aging power grid but it comes unannounced. I edit these photos outside tonight. Sounds of crickets, birds and distant voices fill the air. Someone is singing. 

I look up and a young fox is staring at me, just a couple feet away. He waves his head back and forth to look past me, seeking safe passage. Something dead, like a mouse, hangs out of his mouth. He is not much bigger than a cat, so possibly new to solo outings such as this. 

Last night I could not sleep because of the heat. Our cat meowed at what I believed was his distant pal I like to call, "Rascal Cat". However, this animal did not have a bell, like the bird hunter normally wears. I then saw one more, and eventually six cat like critters. These were young kits not cats, probably the offspring of the bigger fox that visited a few weeks back. 

I imagine this young one in the yard to be my new friend, fast and furious. But I know I am just an unfortunate obstacle in the quest for dinner. He eventually turns and exits by crawling under the fence. I return to editing pictures I took just before the temperature got hotter than blue blazes.